1 Month Out: Reflections

Well, we've been home for a little over a month. It feels strange to think that it's already been so long since the trip- I finished another class, have been working more, and doing other summery things around Boulder. A few things that I've noticed since returning:

1. I'm doing a much better job of appreciating the lifestyle I have and cutting down on the materialistic and superficial aspects of my behavior. Normally I have a pretty deep attachment to things and how they represent various time periods of my life, but since going on this trip and seeing people who had to live based not upon their material wealth, but via their personal experiences and interactions with others, I've been inspired to rein in my stuff and focus more on how I'm absorbing information and getting the most out of everthing I'm doing.

2. My passion for World Cup Soccer has shot out the window, and with Germany facing Spain today I'm hoping that Deutschland can pull through to the end and give me a show of my favorite team in Soccer City, tying together our delightful experiences in Soweto and my passion for the German language.

3. I've been following stories about reconciliation and conflict more closely, and I've been lucky to spot lots of positive South Africa stories thanks to the World Cup. Reconciliation as a solution is the inivisible that is becoming visible- prior to this course, it was an empty catch-all for creating a peaceful environment post-conflict. Now I feel strongly that reconciliation goes past that- that it builds new, positive relationships too. I feel so proud of South Africa reading positive article after positive article, and I'm very impressed with what a welcoming face the South Africans have presented to the world.

Some of the articles:

On the World Cup

White Poverty in South Africa

Brainstorming for my project, I've found it difficult to find an example of reconciliation as intense and widely felt as the post-Apartheid situation in South Africa. It seems that the willingness of the people involved to create a new country together made the reconciliation in this situation far more visible than in others in the U.S., particularly when the conflict is still occurring or has not had a definitive end (at least politically) like Apartheid did. I think it's going to be challenging to come up with solutions for some of the situations I'm considering because the application of my reconciliatory ideas may never happen. Luckily, because reconciliation is such a huge issue around the world and in many different scales, I will hopefully be able to draw from past successes or failures to describe what will happen or what should occur.

I'd like to conclude by mentioning how much I miss traveling already- South Africa was such a delightful experience in a country that is sometimes considered to be more dangerous than usual American destinations, and I feel more capable of traveling in unfamiliar territory and less developed regions of the globe. I've also looked into ways to get myself back to South Africa, through various volunteer programs and possibly working with monkeys, which I find enormously fascinating. Until then, I'll have to admire from a distance.

Readjusting- Mindsets and Arriving Home

Leaving South Africa felt very bittersweet, and too easy. As we said our goodbyes at Osborne and drove to the airport, there was no fuss, no grand sending off. We were simply leaving, but it didn't feel right. I felt obligated to give the country a send off better than "Okay, our classes our over. Back to Boulder then!" After all the hospitality that we experienced in South Africa- from our first days in Soweto to the farewell dinner in Cape Town- it didn't feel like we were simply ending the trip, but instead leaving behind our small niche in a community that had taken us in with open arms.

Back home, I've moved into a new apartment with new roommates, one of which had volunteered in Kenya for a month and had similar feelings of helplessness simply going back to her old life. Instead, we agreed, it was like you wanted to tell everyone you interacted with how Africa had changed you. Our trip- a mere 3 weeks, mostly in class- was such a great way to get a new perspective on how I do things in the states- how lucky I am to get to go to school, work near where I live, and have the ability to move around as I wish, including traveling to places like South Africa. Seeing people appreciating the opportunities that I have always had available has given me a fresh perspective on my own life and how I'm taking advantage (or not) of those opportunities- particularly in getting a college education. The trip helped me to feel refreshed and motivated, and it's evident in how engaged I am in the summer course I'm taking.

Speaking of which, I've gotten to engage what we've learned about race over and over since returning. I'm taking Introduction to Cultural Anthropology, and last class we had a big discussion about race and racism in the United States. Perfect for my new found South African knowledge! It was interesting to see people in my class work through discussing race in the states the way I had weeks before. It was interesting to make points that people weren't considering, and to share some of the experiences we had in South Africa regarding race, like how the wealth is distributed there and how people don't discuss race in the States. The ties that I've found to what we discussed in class and what I'm studying in Anthropology have become so numerous that I'm now trying to get major credit for our class in Anthro, something that I hadn't considered doing before the trip. Now I'm finding it easy to make the connections between our study of South Africa's post-Apartheid world and the ethnographies that I'm going to be working on in the coming weeks.

Orlando Stadium and Soweto's Open Arms

Ruby moved to Orlando Stadium, New York Times 6/1/10.

Light or Darkness? The Future for South Africa

Our class focus seems to have shifted from discussing the history of South Africa to now establishing what will happen in its future- now that we have the information, what will be done, or even can be done, to attempt to right the wrongs inflicted on a country by political practices that were far from equal.

A concept that I've been struggling with has been that of separating forgiveness from justice. I find it frustrating that I can't seem to get past my sense of retributive justice, as least in the terms of discussing events that aren't Apartheid. I understand that in terms of events like Apartheid, an eye for an eye will quite literally make the entire country blind, and it's physically, financially, or emotionally feasible for government and people either. I am having difficulties remaining separate and outside of the crimes that we are discussing, and have, to some extent, began to discuss them as if they were personally effecting me. This realization is one that I'm going to need to keep an eye on closely while we discuss reconciliation- what works and what doesn't- because my more American mindset is not the way that the issue is being approached in South Africa. I keep blogging about how people aren't getting their hands dirty in the reconciliation process, but before I continue to point fingers I need to figure out why the solutions that I'm seeing and ideas that I'm suggesting are organized towards a communal goal that involves forgiving past wrongs for a common brighter future, while I seem to be unable to process this type of thinking when discussing the issues of forgiveness and justice abstractly.

Moving forward in South Africa is most evident in the fervor surrounding the FIFA World Cup. I'm feeling somewhat nervous for South Africa- in a sport like soccer, Europeans from highly developed societies are going to be swarming into a country that simply will not be able to rival their abilities to host huge events like this, financially and also because of a still-developing infrastructure. South Africa has been presented with a magnificent opportunity to show the world how far they have come since Apartheid, and indeed seeing the World Cup stadiums and walking through Johannesburg's facilities were awe-inspiring experiences. As our in class discussions become intense and critical, we often revert to one solid fact amidst all of our concepts- South Africa, as a nation, is only 16 years old. A mere infant in the developed world, South Africa can't be expected to provide the same kind of experience for the World Cup as a European nation would, like Germany did in 2006. But I hope that as people arrive for the matches and are greeted by people like the ones we have met on this trip, their judgement will soften, and their hearts will open to a nation that has so much to offer, but is still figuring out its identity. Meeting people here and talking about the nation's problems have most certainly changed how I've been thinking about (or judging, if you wish) South Africa and its ability to reconcile. I encounter many moments of doubt, but I remember how much has been done by the citzens of this country and have a renewed hope for their ability to move past the horrors of Apartheid. In this way, my thinking about Africa has a continent has even changed- these people are still working through some extremely detrimental political, economic, and social situations- but are willing to put in the work to change it for the better.

As I went to title this post, I found it challenging to find a way to sum up what I've seen while here. There's no good way to summarize South Africa- as a country, as a people, as a culture- I've seen more here than I ever could have expected in terms of sheer diversity amongst everything in the country. Even geographically- we've gone from vast grasslands to green and mountainous coastal communities. I feel like I'm narrating Planet Earth right now (although I definitely can't compete with David Attenborough in terms of epic narrating voices!) but that's truly what South Africa is- a plethora of cultures, people, and, despite its challenges, a fledgling democracy that I feel will emerge victorious in its struggle for reconciliation.

You're About to Get Schooled- Vestiges of Change in Higher Education

One of my favorite lecturers thus far has been Don Foster, who spoke to us about the psychological aspects of reconciliation in South Africa. Specifically, I'd like to further discuss the various examples he gave of ways in which society was still self-segregating, even on the campus of a liberal and forward thinking university like UCT.

One of his first examples was the beaches surrounding Cape Town- particularly Camps Bay and Clifton beaches- being racialized in waves, as a "white flight" occurs once black people begin arriving and setting up to enjoy the water. I had, ironically, just been to both beaches the weekend before, and had noticed that the only black people I saw, particularly at Clifton, were selling trinkets to everyone. It was strange- to this day, I cannot help but be at least a little shocked every time I see the excessive income disparity in South Africa. I've visited the poorest slums and the wealthiest neighborhoods in Cape Town- all of which are no more than a 30 to 45 minute drive away from each other. I felt so isolated on Clifton beach- it was small, it was white, and from my perspective, didn't feel like the real South Africa. I would much rather be welcomed with open arms in the park in Soweto then walk onto this beach where everyone was settled in their own specific claims on the sand. The self-segregation evident at Clifton was to some extent a reality check- had I made the decision subconsciously to visit a beach that would probably be wealthy and white? I keep checking myself as I walk around town, or on campus, to gauge how comfortable I am in situations depending on what the racial mix is. It's still sort of awkward feeling on the Jammie when Marni and I are the only white people on the bus in the afternoon, but the only way to become more comfortable in social situations that one is accustomed to is to experience them more often. So riding the Jammie it is! :)

But even that couldn't necessarily integrate us into having a diverse group of friends- research at UCT suggests that even on a campus as diverse as this one, people are still grouping off by race, whether they realize it or not. I was disappointed as well to be informed of the serious lack of diversity on CU's campus- I had no idea that only 500 black students attend our school. I feel like I would have been more comfortable with race if I was presented with a situation in which I would have to confront it and discuss it- and a perfect environment for just that is available all across the U.S. and the world in the form of college dorms. Living together is a great way to promote understanding and inter-personal relationships, and I think it would have been easier to make friends of all classes, races and any other different backgrounds if I hadn't lived with a bunch of upper-middle-class white kids. If everyone had been forced to break out of their shell and meet new people, I think the cliques and groups that formed on my floor wouldn't have been as exclusive and unwelcoming because everyone would have been in the same boat. It was just too easy to make friends with the exact same types of people that we all knew in high school. I hope to take away a better ability to reach out on campus, because I feel like it doesn't happen enough, even between students who are in the same class. There seems to be a fear there that is unconquerable, a wall that is unsurmountable- and I want to try and bridge that gap.

A video we got to watch earlier in the day was also indicative of youth's role in the social system in both the Apartheid and Post-Apartheid eras of South Africa- the movie we watched was pieced together from news clips during the era of the Soweto uprising, when hundreds of children were being arrested and taken away from their homes, basically at random. Similar to my experience at Robbin Island, the video made Apartheid feel far more real and tangible- the video was not professionally done- it was people standing in doorways as Security Forces drove away with their kids, or mothers washing tear gas off the faces of kids who couldn't have been older than 5 or 6. Similar to the way Mandela's book became more real for me after seeing Robbin Island, watching raw footage of what was happening in the township personalized the endless memorials and site visits we'd been doing in both Soweto and the Cape Flats. It's easy to forget how real people were effected when you start talking in broad terms and sociological jargon, and I am trying to be more mindful of this depersonalization in the way I discuss reconciliation in South African society today. Attempting to keep in mind the fact that people are all prone to the same faults and great acts of kindness humanizes the piecing together of a divided society post-Apartheid.

Whities in the Townships- Where the Heck are they?!

Well, it’s been a while since my last post, and as per usual there’s lots to say about our adventures in South Africa. My favorite part of Cape Town so far was visiting Robbin Island- I had just finished the part in Long Walk to Freedom that took place at the prison. It was literally like the words were coming to life before my eyes, which I hadn’t experienced so instantaneously before. Marni and I jokingly took photos of the book in front of where Mandela had buried his manuscript years before, which was a cool way to acknowledge the direct connections between the storyline and what we do in this class.

However, it hasn’t been all fun and games. We’re actually learning here too, and being able to go to class on campus (almost!) as beautiful as Boulder has been great. I’ve been struck throughout our endless stream of lectures and township visits by one thing- the lack of white volunteer work being done in the townships. Courtney and I had mentioned earlier in class how hard it is to do volunteering in Boulder, and compared it to how accessible it was here. When we went to dinner at Africa Café, I decided to ask Chris, our South African Interstudy guide, just to see why we weren’t seeing any white involvement in what was going on in the townships in the form of NGO’s building houses for the homeless and poor in the area. I was surprised by a lack of explanation, or even defense really- Chris stated that whites simply don’t go to the townships. It just doesn’t happen. I’m not sure if I’m justified in expecting them to be doing something about the problem just because it’s on their doorstep- there’s certainly problems around Boulder that I could be helping with because it’s geographically convenient- but I would at least be able to come up with a lame excuse like a lack of time or lack of passion for the cause. I feel like I got a better understanding of the situation with today’s contact hypothesis discussion- there’s an underlying mistrust there that needs to be dealt with, a commonality that needs to be established. I’m frustrated because I feel like building a house as a group would be an excellent bond-forming activity, but would unfortunately require a large amount of outside effort and a willingness to give up free time in order to better racial relations. Not necessarily on the typical South African’s daily to do list. After doing more work with contact hypothesis, I feel less angry about the situation than I did before, when the social factors at play here were rather invisible. I still believe strongly that assistance to the townships is something that should be going on via white communities working with black residents, but my initial shock at the way white South Africans skirt around the areas has subsided after a psychological explanation. From here on out, I’ll try and approach the issue with a broader mindset that encompasses the external factors that are constantly at play here, a method that is getting more important as we discuss more specific issues.

Today we went to the Mayibuye Center archives briefly before our education lecture, which was a really significant collection in terms of pure and unedited archiving of apartheid history. Rows and rows of documents, carefully boxed yet unsorted, stretching out before us. The guy giving us our impromptu tour mentioned several times that they were always short on staff, so the cataloging process for all of the photos, news clippings and video cuts that people of the area and even Desmond Tutu had entrusted to the university. Every time we visit these fresh historical sites- the places where, in the lifetime of people that I know like my parents, the notable events of Apartheid were happening- I feel so much more connected to what happened. These records, which are still being sorted after all these years, were just another reminder of how long it’s going to take South Africa to “sort out” the after effects of the system. I want to take away a better ability to listen and acknowledge that the people speaking to us about the story of South Africa were there, and lived through it. That merits a much more respectful attitude and full attention when hearing what they have to say on the subject. After seeing Robbin Island with my own eyes and looking through authentic apartheid artifacts, I’ve attempted to be more alert to the personal stories of the people we’re encountering, and how it affects the way that they show us their truth about apartheid.

Establishing Our Base - Cape Town

Arriving in Cape Town was like arriving in another country- we were most definitely still in Africa, but the amount of wealth around us in the city center and the number of whites that we began seeing increased dramatically. Cape Town has a different feel that Soweto, obviously- but I’m not sure yet if I like it quite as much as Soweto or not. I feel much more guarded than I did in Soweto, where by the end of our stay I felt quite comfortable talking to anyone that greeted me on the street. It seems to be an issue of a genuine welcome versus a deceptive façade- the many hellos and handshakes of the Zulu versus the whistling and obnoxious honking of taxis zooming by in Cape Town.

One of the discussions we’ve held here that I found very interesting was about how American youth do not feel passionately about causes- that we lack a direction of sorts in the way in which we show our support for the greater good. I found this very interesting, and embodied just hours later while waiting for the bus with the group. Our bus to Forest Hill was late, but not necessarily by an extensive amount- we waited perhaps 20 minutes. As we were waiting and the frustration level on the platform grew, a young African man next to us started raving to his friend. I’m assuming that the man was not a student at UCT, but at a different university. He stated something along the lines of, “Yeah, well [they’re late because] you guys have never protested! Throw rocks at the buses, then they will be on time!” This amazed me. In the States, CU students complain about the buff bus ALL the time, including myself, but I would never consider doing more than writing an angry but polite letter to Transportation Services. I think our generation has, to some extent, “missed out” on learning how to hold demonstrations like this- We did not see the civil rights movement, or anti-Vietnam war protests, or any major national movement for change that we could model local campaigns off of. South African society is one of social justice and change coming from the people- and it’s an attitude that’s evident even in the injustice of a bus being a few minutes late. I’m going to have to consider that next time I see CU students waiting for the buff bus with headphones in, probably sending a text of complaint about the service to a friend.

Shifting gears a bit, I also wanted to tackle our discussion about forgiveness. So far in the trip, this discussion was the one that was most challenging for me in terms of understanding the behavior of the black community in South Africa post-Apartheid, and covered something that I had been marveling over the entire time in Soweto: Why did these people seem so happy and accepting of white South Africans? Why had they, from my perspective, forgiven so easily? We discussed the way Africans have forgiven, but not forgotten- an oxymoron, but one that is actually successful as far as I can see. The huge number of museums and memorials, just in the Johannesburg area and particularly in Soweto, are all well created, designed with significance, and ensure that the lives of the people who fought for freedom and suffered for it are not forgotten. AK mentioned that its partially a cultural method of thinking that contrasts with our capitalist and individualistic mindset- which is an explanation that I appreciate hearing because the reasons I would have for South Africans not offering forth forgiveness are all reasons that involve me and my personal feelings about an issue, not to the greater good of the community. It’s hard for me to understand individual sacrifice for the greater good when it is challenging to see the differences that that sacrifice has made. The black South Africans probably won’t see the real impact of their actions for a long time yet to come, but it will be interesting to see how the efforts put into dealing with Apartheid by many members of society will affect the country down the road- in 20, 50, or 100 years. It emphasizes for me the importance of also considering the long term benefits and effects of forgiveness, and how its effects or lack thereof, will change the way that I view the world or live my life down the road. Before doing so, I will have to transcend the negative feelings associated with past wrongs, which in our culture do not often get addressed.